Monday, 21 July 2008

  • Why is it still painful if you've forgiven someone that's hurt you deeply?
    I want to say I've honestly and truly forgiven, but the pain is still there.
    Does that mean I still care? Or does it simply mean i haven't really forgiven?
    I know I've let go, and I've moved on.
    I've changed and it's been long enough that I can see where I was and where I am now.
    I know I'm not bitter, and I think of the good times, but somehow, sometimes it still hurts.
    It's beyond letting go, after you've healed and changed.
    I don't know what it is, but maybe it has something to do with seeing what was good in the past and wondering if it was all a mirage.
    Or maybe you realize how much you really threw away for something that wasn't so good after all.
    I don't know.

    People say I was naive to think so idealistically, but I say, if you never have that kind of mentality, you would never know if it could be your ideal. You would always be settling.
    Yeah it sucks, but at least I can say that I tried.
    I can say I put in 100%.
    If I had been cynical and doubting from the start, putting in a fraction of the effort, I could blame myself for not trying.
    But since I didn't hold back, I can't blame myself for it not working out.

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