Suspicions that the whole Toyota ordeal was a plot to boost american car sales during the economic collapse seem to be true now.

earlier this year:

http://www.businessweek.com/news/2010-07-14/toyota-cites-driver-errors-in-acceleration-cases.html

 

 

NOW, check out the last paragraph in THIS article. 

I like how it only got a one paragraph mention, even though they shamed the Japanese car company by making him testify in front of a grand jury. OOPS.

http://www.economist.com/node/18119177

(copied here for your laziness)

An investigation by American road-safety officials concluded that the problem of sudden acceleration that led to a huge recall of Toyota cars was not caused by the carmaker’s electronic systems, as claimed in hundreds of lawsuits. Sticking foot-pedals and floor mats accounted for some of the mishaps, but most were caused by “pedal misapplication”, or motorists mistaking the accelerator for the brake.

 

why isn't this being mentioned everywhere.

(okay, I've been bottling this up for awhile, recent events have caused the dam to breach and now you are all flooded.)

I've been wanting to write about something for a while now, but I couldn't seem to gather the energy to do so until now.
The past few weeks have been a lesson for me. I've been learning about friends and friendship in a way that has really blown my mind.

As a child, I felt like my community of friends were of utmost importance. Especially friends that I went to church with. Church was not just a meeting ground for the only Asian community in my life, but for me it was home. It really was.

Fast forward 10 years.  
What is church to me now? It's somewhere I serve. My best friend goes there, and I occasionally try to get involved with young adult fellowships.
Is it the safe haven that I used to know? not really, filled with gossip and cliques, people judging others, acquaintances at best. It's nowhere near the community that once was for me. 

I feel like my friendships have changed as well. A friend, for me, used to be someone that I would give my all for. Someone that I know in my heart that if they were in need, I would be the first they would call, and I would be the first to pray for them.
I feel like through these years, trust has been broken. Lies and deceit have filled my calloused heart, and I find it harder and harder to open up to become more than just a smiling face.
Even to my closest friends, I feel like they don't even know me anymore. The secrets once shared are just buried these days.

Now, we talk of fun. We talk of trips we should go on, of beers we should try, and of foods we should eat.
We talk of our success, and the money we want to make. We boast of superficial achievements: of fish we catch, beating a video game, or winning money in poker. We complain about restaurant service and shoddy merchandise, instead of sharing about real problems and of real heartaches. And when these topics DO come up, we offer words of "wisdom" that are cliché at best. 

And life goes on, tiring. 

Friends are not what I used to know. 

We argue about childish things, giving up our devotions to one another over mere squabbles of lust and jealousy.
Our pride becomes the line of our friendship, and whoever dares to cross it is labeled pariah, outcast from the "group".

and so I sigh and try. and sigh and try. but lately, it's been more sighing and less trying.

I used to give myself up. Eaten up by the desires of others. Give myself in pieces 'till there's no more to sample.
I've never thought of it that way, btw. I want to say that generosity is a trait that I have, and will continue to have. 
But when you've shared yourself and see no reciprocation, it takes a toll on your soul. 

After taking a step back, observing the bigger picture, you can really see the limit of devotion people have for you. 
It's unfair and selfish to test those limits, but when you're faced with a dire situation, you will find that it's worth testing, and in most times, those limits grow wider. (and it goes both ways.)

Words have been spoken about me recently that were hard to take in. Hard to know someone was slandering my name, and harder to know that people agreed with them.

I've thought of myself as someone of integrity, but even I started questioning myself. Is their hate justified? Have I really wronged men and God? 

I still don't know. In my heart I believe I've done nothing wrong. 

I believe that most people are deserving of trust, but once you break it, it's very difficult for me to give a second portion. It might take years. (as some will attest.) and it will never be the same kind of friendship it was before. 

That's just the way I am. I love some, dislike others.
There are few in-betweens for me. 

i want an old dog that loves me.
a cracked mug that says "worlds best dad",
a phonograph playing a scratched "moonlight serenade"
while my wife dances slowly next to me.

i want a house that smells of cookies and freshly baked bread,
and grandkids yelling in the background as they squabble over toys.
i want to paint my walls green, lavender, navy, and black.
and do it again.
not to decorate, just cuz it's fun.

i want my car to die,
then buy a new one and see that one die, too.
i'd like to be the handyman,
to pretend like i know how to fix household appliances,
but eventually call the technicians.
i want to be able to laugh, cry, sing, and dance with her forever.
and for her to be satisfied with the same.

i'd like to grow like a tree, soaking in the sun.
to grow old physically,
to grow young mentally.
to laugh in the face of death, and to shake my fist against the winds of fate.
i'll be the old man in the nursing home, playing bingo and CHOO CHOO-ing when i win.
yeah, i'd like that....alot.
:)